Coming to Terms With Having a GirlSaturday, December 5, 2015
The moment I found out I was pregnant I "knew" it was a boy. I was so convinced my first born would be a son, I had already created a beautiful story in my head of my son and what he would be like. So when my husband and I went to our 20 week sonogram and the lady kindly said, it's a girl! I have to admit I was a bit confused. I was not devastated, I just didn't really believe I was going to have a daughter. I had wanted to have a son because I love and admire my husband so much that I wanted a girl to experience what I experienced. I wanted to raise a strong, gentleman who would take care of his family and love his wife like no other woman in the world. I wanted so bad to be the mom of that man. So finding out I was having a girl threw me for a loop. Throughout my pregnancy I continued to believe that maybe the lady had made a mistake, and even after another ultrasound at 32 weeks confirming what I already knew. When my baby was placed on my arms after her birth I asked my husband "Is it a girl?".
I spent the days at the hospital looking at her little face wondering, could I be a good mom to a girl? Will I be jealous of my husband sharing his love to her? These were questions I didn't want to admit I was having but they were true all the more. I hadn't prepared myself for a girl and now she was here in my arms and I had the big responsibility of raising her. This all seems funny to me now looking back at it almost four months later. Because now I couldn't imagine myself with anybody else than her. She has captured my heart with her girly coos and her spunky personality that shine more and more as she grows. Her sweet demeanor when she looks at me and her absolute love for her dad has grown my heart more than I could ever know. I couldn't imagine my life without my Mia girl. She has a part of my heart that will always belong to her.
I have come to understand this verse more than ever before: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8 No matter what I thought would've been better for me, God had already prepared me to have a daughter. And He already has a beautiful plan for her life and I get to see it unfold everyday of my life.