What I Wish I Would've Known Before my Baby Was BornMonday, November 2, 2015
I know i've been away from the blog for a while, and it is because I've needed to spend time with my baby, learning how to be a mother. There have been a lot of new feelings and experiences when becoming a mother, and I have learned a lot. But recently I have kept going over and over in my head of the things I wish I would've known about motherhood when I was expecting my first child. And I want to share this with you. So here's my letter to you, from an honest mother to another.
I know you are excited about your baby coming into this world, and you should be! As scared as you might feel I just want to let you know that, this little person will absolutely change your life, for the better.
I want you to know that birthing your baby should come with gold bright trophy to congratulate you for what you are about to do. And know that it doesn't matter if your birth doesn't go as you planned it would. It doesn't matter if you had to change your plans to going natural and having to ask for drugs, or if you wanted to have your baby vaginally and you have to have a c-section, or if it just wasn't what you thought it would be. I want to let you know that you are not less of a mother, or a woman. You birthed that baby with a strength you never thought it'd be possible and now your baby is here and no matter what happened, you are still the only person your baby knows more than anyone else in the world. You are now MOM.
Knowing what your baby needs those first days of life is no walk in the park. And feeding your baby is part of those tough decisions you will have to make. I want to tell you what I wish I would've known, choosing to breastfeed may not be easy, and if it is what you want to do it will take time and knowledge to do it. Seek help, ask for help from someone who can guide you to learn how to do it. Breastfeeding is not something that "just comes naturally" it takes time and effort and knowledge from someone who's done it before. So don't feel discouraged, seek help from someone you trust who's done it before. I had to learn the hard way, that no matter if you choose to breastfeed or to formula feed people will still judge your decision. And that's just the beginning of what motherhood is like. But I have good news, there are people out there who can encourage you and love you, weather it is your partner, your family or even another mother who knows exactly what you are going through. You are choosing the best decision you can for your child, and remember: You are just learning.
Now that you and baby are home, here comes the crash course on motherhood. Waking up every couple of hours around the clock to feed, or cuddle or rock, even at 3AM after not a lot of sleep, is something you may have never done before. Can I tell you a secret, it's okay to not like this at first. Ask any parent how much they "loved" to be up every couple of hours to tend to a little person who yells a lot. It's okay. It doesn't mean you don't love your child, it takes time to create a relationship with someone, especially someone new. But let me tell you, OH! It gets better! It gets so much better! Your child, in what will seem like forever to you, but in a matter of seconds to everyone else, will begin to recognize you and smile at you, and laugh and hold your finger with their tiny hands and you will begin to feel like you've got this. You will begin to recognize what your child needs more than anyone else and it will be the most beautiful thing in the world. And at first it might seem like everyone has got this and you don't, but soon enough there will only be one person who can calm those cries, You, mom. But it might not happen right away, so don't be discouraged, every mother knows what is like, and suddenly you will find a lot of mothers who look at you and let you know, hey, I know what is like, and you are doing an incredible job! And I'm right there with them.
There is a reason Mother's Day is one of the biggest days in the world. And that's because what you do matters. And though, under appreciated by the business world, it is one of the toughest jobs anyone could ever do. And now, you are part of that club. Welcome. You are now a mom.
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