An Honest Pregnancy UpdateMonday, April 20, 2015
Pregnancy has been an incredible experience. Having my child growing inside my womb has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. However, that doesn't mean that it hasn't come with its challenges also. And today I wanted to share a little more In depth on my pregnancy.
Finding out I was pregnant came as a complete shock to both my husband and I, even though we knew it was a big possibility it was still hard to believe. I remember the night we found out as we both laid in bed and stared at the ceiling with nothing to say and with no intention of going to sleep. I remember wanting him to be more excited but also realizing that even I wasn't sure how I was feeling. Yes, having a child is an incredible blessing, yet never being parents ourselves we just don't know what to expect and the weight of the big responsibility laid heavy on our chests that night.
Yet, as the days went by happiness and excitement started to fill our home as the reality of a having a child became even more real. One of the most precious memories that I have was our first doctor's appointment as we started at the sonogram screen and saw our little dot's heart beating to a steady rhythm and my husband's face light up with joy. Yet, with every happy moment the challenges seemed to come as well. For the first three and a half months of my pregnancy also came morning sickness, fatigue, and just horrible nausea.
These months were also tough as I tried my hardest to make it to work, to sadly say no to a lot of hang outs with my friends without being able to say why, and to have my husband having to cook all of his food outside on the grill because I couldn't stand the smell of cooking in my home. In these times he truly was my rock. He held my hair as I hovered over a bucket, he rubbed my back when I couldn't sleep and he prayed over me when I had no more strength to keep going. And yet, I have to admit that as sick and tired as I was I was falling in love with my child. I began to talk to my baby, to tell her I loved her, even though I didn't know it was a she yet, I sang over her and I prayed over her. And in these times I felt the reassurance of the Lord guiding me and loving me.
And thankfully after three long months of sickness I began to slowly but surely feel like myself again and with it also came one of the most spectacular moments of my pregnancy, feeling my baby move inside of me! It was magical. It felt like I was getting to know her and she was getting to know me. I woke my husband up one night and told him to place his hand on my belly, when suddenly he felt her kick, I was so emotional I completely broke down in tears. To me there had never been anything more beautiful. Again, I want to be honest with you, it was difficult for my husband to relate. Even though he was feeling her his mind was consumed in other things, like making sure we had enough to provide for her, make sure we were saving, how we were going to raise her, what we needed to have ready, etc. I have come to understand now, that my husband and I focus on very different things when it comes to our baby and yet it creates a perfect balance. And we also have to understand and care about what each of us is focused on.
I wanted to share some more details about my pregnancy journey to really be honest about my journey so far. I'm still half way and getting closer to the end. I still have a lot more experiences to go through and hopefully to share again. I want to leave here letting you know that I am excited, scared, happy and sometimes even sad but as I go through this journey I have and will continue to trust that The Lord will guide me and show me grace throughout this new season I'm stepping on. I also can't wait to meet and let you meet my precious baby girl :) much love and thank you for following along on this journey I'm on.